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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I got this emailed to me a few days ago. Made me laugh my head off. And every time I think about the email I just start laughing again. So I'm sharing it with you guys. Hope you guys laugh like I did. You know we have all done something stupid in public that make you feel humiliated. Have a good Day/Night!

My favorite is number 4.


Original E-mail:

Here are six reasons why you should thinkbefore you speak - the last one is great!Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back....... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did!


FIRST TESTIMONY:I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?">I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't >say a word.......he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls."


THIRD TESTIMONY:My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY:While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving"right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this e nlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank wit h my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked>my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember>we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!
 

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Re: Think before you Speak!

haha felix...you know you should say the right thing...but the wrong thing is always so much funnier!!

i do that XD always go for saying the wrong thing...
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Re: Think before you Speak!

I swear a lot of joke have to do with balls. And they still are funny, over and over again. I guess it like video where guys get hit in the balls.LOL
 

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The Man, The Mystery, The Itch.
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Re: Think before you Speak!

Hey delta, I just read your custom profiley thingy...Off-Topic post geniu...whore ahahaha
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Re: Think before you Speak!

I wonder who did that? I did ask for it but I think I said "Official off-topic post genius". Whoever called me a whore is going to get it.
 

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The Man, The Mystery, The Itch.
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Re: Think before you Speak!

Yeah whore is a little un-delta.

Probably stockwall, modify's hyundai's so he probably did that too ahahaha!!

OH SNAP!
 

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The Man, The Mystery, The Itch.
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Re: Think before you Speak!

Oh I wouldnt worry about it, we're all considered post whores and thats where its coming from. I wouldnt take it serious at all, but if you dont like it then PM Felix and he'll help you out, it was for a laugh hun. Come on I mean I'm a guy and I'm Blue Balls for god sakes! Thats like calling me, "boy who cant hold his load" hahaha. But no everyone loves you and thats what that meant. Go talk to the Aussie post whore ahaha.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Re: Think before you Speak!

I don't care. I just want to know who did it so I can give them $hit and retaliate and get revenge. muwhahahah LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Re: Think before you Speak!

Felix said:
What I miss, wasnt me this time! I couldnt pick on Delta, would be like beating on your little little sister :p

Felix
Awwwwww I have a buddy. Now I know who it was stockwall I'm coming after you.
 
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